From the start The Darlings of Orange County reads like a film: pirates, sexy Swedes, beautiful surfers, brooding femme fatale brunettes and volatile redheads running amok amidst the sunny and sandy shores and stores of Newport, Laguna and Dana Point. Natch, any writer will tell you their book should be a narrative film. Yet, clearly some scream for the marquis lights more than others. I mean, just look at the cover art!

Here's the question I posit to those of you whom have read the book: who do you envision in the various roles? Sure, many of the main and supporting characters are dysfunctional, self-obsessed, superego, mendacious murderers, drug dealers and all-around finks; yet, like any good Anne Rice novel, most of them are also hiding some innate goodness and are preternaturally beautiful, without aesthetic flaw. They are mathematically perfect specimens with hearts of bronze.

Suffice it to say there's an opening or two for the likes of Brad Pitt (Kalifornia-Brad, not Benjamin Button-Brad), Matthew McConaughey, Zach Galifianakas, Parker Posey, Adrianne Curry, Anne Hathaway, Ed Helms, Sofia Vergara and the like. Bien-sur, scribbled on a Hello Kitty piece of notepaper, I have my definitive actor wishlist: distinct actors paired with specific characters. Oh sure, I suppose I'll have to sign Johnny Depp, Robert Downey, Jr., Conan O'Brien and some of the other stars dotted throughout the pages. Still, who's your John Everyman playing Pardo, Ryan or Tucker; who's the Betty-next--door playing Veronica, Kieran, Astrid or Sasha?

As far as Chet Darling goes, the scruffy, sketchy, Captain Ronesque land-pirate who lives on a broken down yacht in Dana Point harbor, subsisting by making canvas covers for boats and costumes for Renaissance Faire folk? It's Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover, Muppets Most Wanted) and only Zach on my dream casting list.

Clearly, the title needs to lap dance on the right people.  If you were the right lap, who would you cast? Head to Amazon's The Darlings of Orange County forum to see whom other readers envision and let your wishes and fantasies be known! If you're shy, you can even just write us a note here at our Contact page; we'll pass it along to Jerry Bruckheimer personally! Tell Hollywood it's time to bring some H-town sizzle to the shores of the O.C. (Psst. BTW, don't call it that.) Film rights still available. Tweet

Like scribing Christmas, Hanukkah or Thank You cards, or even a Trader Joe's shopping list, birthday greetings can be difficult to jazz up when looking at one after another, crafting unique and heartfelt sentiments. Yes, even within a T.J.'s list, this can be a task. This is not to be taken as a chore, nay; for I adore sending cards, notes and general howdies. (Not to be confused with Gen. Howdy, commander of plush forces at Snoopy Western Town.) It is important to me, however, to send a fervid and friendly message, not just a mere signature.

More whimsical and, depending on whom you ask, more controversial in its history than Paramount, Universal and Warner Bros., the Walt Disney Studios were manageable, cheerful and welcoming. Naturally, there were the de rigueur struggles of any studio going on behind the magic; but it certainly didn’t seem that way to Veronica and Ryan as they were waved through the gates by a smiling guard whom had first scrutinized, then validated their Mickey parking permit.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Disney!

(Wondering what the squirrel reference is in the caption above? Why, Jennifer Susannah Devore's Savannah of Williamsburg series of books!)

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What you have to understand is that good writing isn't necessarily saleable, and a lot of people get rich writing awful bullshit. -Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in America

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(Warning to Savannah of Williamsburg readers, parents, teachers et al: please, note this is NOT a Savannah-title by any means, hence the need for user-registration. No kiddies allowed. Aside from the overall goal of awareness in a world of dwindling standards, it is an endeavour to dip my quill into a new genre. Adults will love it, I promise you ... your children must not. Book IV in the Savannah Series, however, is being written currently and is, as always, completely child-appropriate.)